Divorce Process

The 90-Day Divorce Preparation Checklist

A comprehensive week-by-week guide to preparing for divorce. From financial documentation to building your support team, this checklist ensures you are ready before you file.

David Park, Esq.Family Law Attorney, 20+ Years

December 26, 2024

16 min read

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The decision to divorce is one of the hardest you will ever make. But once you have made it, the steps you take in the next 90 days can mean the difference between a smooth transition and years of financial and emotional chaos. This checklist walks you through exactly what to do, week by week, to protect yourself and your future.

Why 90 days? Research shows that spouses who prepare for at least 90 days before filing achieve settlements that are 23% more favorable than those who file reactively. Preparation is your single biggest advantage.

Days 1-30: Financial Discovery and Documentation

Your first month should focus entirely on understanding your financial picture. Most people have no idea what their household is actually worth until they look. Now is the time to find out.

Gather the last 3 years of tax returns (both joint and any separate filings)
Collect 12 months of bank statements for ALL accounts (checking, savings, money market)
Obtain statements for all retirement accounts (401k, IRA, pension documents)
Compile credit card statements for the past 12 months
Locate mortgage documents, car titles, and property deeds
Request a copy of your credit report from all three bureaus
Make copies of all insurance policies (life, health, auto, home)
Document any business interests, partnership agreements, or stock options

Pro tip: Make digital copies of everything and store them in a secure cloud account your spouse does not have access to. Physical copies can disappear.

Days 31-60: Building Your Support Team

Divorce is not a solo sport. The people you surround yourself with during this time will shape your outcome. Choose them carefully.

Professional	Why You Need Them	When to Engage
Family Law Attorney	Legal strategy, filing, negotiations	Day 31-45
Therapist or Counselor	Emotional support, decision clarity	Day 31-45
CDFA (Financial Analyst)	Asset valuation, tax planning	Day 45-60
Forensic Accountant	Hidden asset investigation (if needed)	Day 45-60
Estate Planner	Update wills, beneficiaries, trusts	After filing

Interview at least three attorneys before choosing one. Ask about their approach to mediation vs. litigation, their communication style, and how they bill. The cheapest attorney is rarely the best value.

"The attorney you hire sets the tone for your entire divorce. An aggressive litigator will create an aggressive divorce. A collaborative attorney will seek resolution. Match your attorney to your goals, not your anger."

— David Park, Esq., Family Law Attorney

Days 61-75: Financial Independence Groundwork

Before you file, you need to establish financial independence. This does not mean hiding assets (which is illegal and will backfire). It means having access to funds and credit in your own name.

Open a checking and savings account in your name only at a different bank
Apply for a credit card in your name if you do not have one
Set aside 3-6 months of living expenses in your personal account
Understand your monthly budget needs (rent, utilities, food, insurance)
Research health insurance options if you are on your spouse's plan
Identify income sources and whether you may need spousal support

Important: Do NOT drain joint accounts or max out joint credit cards. Courts view this as dissipation of marital assets, and you could be penalized in the settlement.

Days 76-85: Custody and Living Arrangements

If you have children, custody planning starts now. If you plan to stay in the marital home, understand the financial implications. If you plan to leave, know your rights first.

Research custody laws in your state (some require mediation first)
Document your involvement in daily childcare activities
Identify potential living arrangements if you will not stay in the home
Research schools, daycare, and activities in potential new areas
Talk to your attorney about temporary custody and support orders
DO NOT leave the marital home without legal advice (this can hurt custody)

Living Decision	Advantages	Risks
Stay in Home	Stability for kids, possession advantage	Must afford upkeep, emotional strain
Leave to Apartment	Fresh start, less conflict	May hurt custody position, lost equity claims
Stay with Family	Financial savings, emotional support	Seen as less stable for custody

Days 86-90: Final Preparation and Filing Decision

The last five days are about finalizing your strategy and making the filing decision. Everything you have done over the past 85 days comes together now.

Review all gathered documents with your attorney
Finalize your filing strategy (who files first, which grounds)
Prepare emotionally for telling your spouse (if you have not already)
Set up secure communication channels (separate email, phone if needed)
Brief trusted family or friends who can provide support
Schedule time off work if needed for court appearances
Confirm your attorney is ready to file when you give the green light

"By day 90, you should feel confident, not scared. You know your finances. You have your team. You have a plan. That is the difference between reacting to divorce and controlling it."

— Sarah Chen, CDFA

Complete 90-Day Checklist Summary

Week	Primary Focus	Key Deliverables
1-2	Financial documents	Tax returns, bank statements, account lists
3-4	Asset inventory	Property docs, retirement accounts, debts
5-6	Legal consultation	Interview 3 attorneys, choose representation
7-8	Support team	Therapist, CDFA, close confidants
9-10	Financial independence	Personal accounts, credit, budget plan
11-12	Custody planning	Document involvement, research arrangements
13	Final review	Attorney meeting, filing strategy confirmed

What NOT to Do During These 90 Days

Just as important as what you should do is what you should avoid. These mistakes can undo all your preparation.

DO NOT start dating or posting about new relationships online
DO NOT badmouth your spouse to friends, family, or especially your children
DO NOT make major purchases or take on new debt
DO NOT quit your job or significantly reduce your income
DO NOT destroy documents, hide assets, or lie about finances
DO NOT confront your spouse with threats or ultimatums before you are ready

Ready to start your 90-day plan? Splitifi walks you through each step with personalized checklists, document storage, and AI-powered guidance. Get your preparation roadmap today.

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Divorce Preparation

Planning

Checklist

Pre-Divorce

About David Park, Esq.

Family Law Attorney, 20+ Years