Divorce Process

Choosing Between Divorce Types: A Decision Framework

DIY, uncontested, mediation, collaborative, or litigation? Each divorce type has distinct costs, timelines, and requirements. Learn which approach fits your situation.

David Park, Esq.Family Law Attorney, 20+ Years

December 23, 2024

17 min read

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Not all divorces are the same. The process you choose affects how long your divorce takes, how much it costs, how much control you have over the outcome, and whether you can maintain a civil relationship with your ex afterward. Understanding your options is the first step to making the right choice.

The Five Types of Divorce

While the specifics vary by state, most divorces fall into one of five categories. Each has distinct advantages, costs, and requirements.

Divorce Type	Best For	Typical Cost	Average Timeline
DIY/Pro Se	Simple cases, no kids, minimal assets	$500-$2,000	2-6 months
Uncontested	Amicable couples who agree on everything	$1,500-$5,000	2-4 months
Mediation	Couples who can communicate but need help	$5,000-$15,000	3-8 months
Collaborative	Complex situations, preserving relationships	$15,000-$50,000	6-12 months
Litigation	High conflict, hidden assets, custody disputes	$25,000-$200,000+	12-36 months

The right divorce type is not about what you can afford. It is about what your situation requires. Choosing litigation for an amicable split wastes money. Choosing mediation for a high-conflict case fails everyone.

DIY (Pro Se) Divorce

In a pro se divorce, you represent yourself without an attorney. You fill out the court forms, file them, and handle negotiations directly with your spouse. This is the cheapest option but only works in very specific circumstances.

Ideal when: No children, short marriage, minimal assets, both agree on division
Costs: Filing fees ($200-$500) plus time to research and prepare forms
Risks: Missing hidden assets, giving up rights you did not understand, errors that void agreements
Success rate: High only when both spouses are educated, cooperative, and have simple finances
Not recommended if: Children involved, significant assets, any disagreements, history of power imbalance

"I see pro se divorces come back to court years later when one spouse realizes they signed away their pension rights or agreed to a property split they did not understand. The money saved on attorneys gets spent later on motions to modify."

— David Park, Esq.

Uncontested Divorce

An uncontested divorce means you and your spouse agree on all major issues: property division, support, custody, and parenting time. An attorney prepares the paperwork to formalize your agreement, but there are no disputes requiring court intervention.

Ideal when: Both spouses agree on everything, assets are straightforward, custody is settled
Costs: $1,500-$5,000 for attorney-assisted paperwork and filing
Timeline: Often 2-4 months from filing to final decree
Benefits: Minimal stress, predictable outcome, preserves relationship
Requirements: Written agreement on all issues before filing, both parties legally competent

Even in an uncontested divorce, each spouse should have their agreement reviewed by their own attorney. One attorney cannot represent both parties. Independent review prevents one-sided agreements.

Mediation

In mediation, a neutral third party (the mediator) helps you and your spouse reach agreement on disputed issues. The mediator does not make decisions for you. Instead, they facilitate communication, propose solutions, and help you find common ground.

Mediation Aspect	How It Works	Your Role
Neutrality	Mediator does not take sides	Advocate for your own interests
Sessions	Usually 2-6 sessions, 2-3 hours each	Come prepared with information
Agreement	You negotiate the terms	Nothing is binding until signed
Legal Review	Each party has attorney review	Hire independent counsel
Cost Sharing	Typically split mediator fees 50/50	Budget $3,000-$8,000 each

Ideal when: Couples can communicate but disagree on some issues, both want to stay out of court
Costs: $5,000-$15,000 total (split between parties plus individual attorney review)
Timeline: 3-8 months depending on complexity and scheduling
Success rate: 70-80% of mediated divorces reach full agreement
Not recommended if: Domestic violence history, significant power imbalance, hidden asset concerns

Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative divorce is a team-based approach where each spouse has their own attorney, and both attorneys commit to reaching settlement without going to court. Other professionals (financial advisors, child specialists) may join the team.

Ideal when: Complex finances, children involved, both want to preserve relationship
Costs: $15,000-$50,000 per spouse (attorneys, specialists, meetings)
Timeline: 6-12 months of structured negotiation sessions
Key feature: If collaboration fails, both attorneys must withdraw and you start over with new counsel
Benefits: More support than mediation, structured process, privacy, child-focused outcomes

"Collaborative divorce works when both parties genuinely want to resolve issues outside court. The withdrawal provision ensures everyone is motivated to succeed. When it works, it produces better outcomes for children than any litigated case."

— Dr. Lisa Kim, LMFT

Litigation

Litigation is the traditional court-based divorce process. Attorneys represent each spouse, disputes are resolved by a judge, and the court imposes decisions if parties cannot agree. This is the most expensive and time-consuming option but sometimes the only choice.

Necessary when: Domestic violence, hidden assets, parental alienation, refusal to negotiate
Costs: $25,000-$200,000+ per spouse depending on complexity and conflict level
Timeline: 12-36 months, sometimes longer with appeals
Process: Discovery, depositions, motions, possible trial, judge decides contested issues
Outcome: Judge imposes decisions based on law and evidence, not what parties want

Litigation Stage	What Happens	Cost Impact
Filing	Petition filed, spouse served	$3,000-$5,000
Discovery	Financial disclosure, interrogatories, subpoenas	$5,000-$20,000
Motions	Temporary orders, disputes over process	$5,000-$15,000 each
Depositions	Sworn testimony from parties, witnesses, experts	$2,000-$10,000 each
Trial Prep	Exhibits, witness preparation, strategy	$10,000-$30,000
Trial	Multi-day court proceedings	$5,000-$15,000 per day

Even in litigation, most cases settle before trial. Only 5-10% of divorces go to trial. But the threat of trial (and its costs) is what drives settlement negotiations.

Decision Framework: Which Type Is Right For You?

Use these questions to identify which divorce process matches your situation.

Question	If Yes...	If No...
Can you communicate directly with your spouse?	Mediation or collaborative possible	Likely need litigation
Do you have children?	Consider collaborative or mediation for child focus	DIY or uncontested may work
Are your finances complex (business, multiple properties, investments)?	Collaborative or litigation with experts	Simpler options possible
Do you suspect hidden assets?	Litigation with forensic discovery	Other options possible
Is there domestic violence history?	Litigation required for safety	Other options possible
Do you both want to stay out of court?	Mediation or collaborative	May need litigation as backup

Hybrid Approaches

Many divorces combine elements from different approaches. Understanding hybrid options gives you more flexibility.

Mediation with attorney support: Each party has an attorney who advises behind the scenes
Litigation with settlement focus: File for litigation but actively negotiate settlement
Arbitration: Private judge decides disputes (faster than court, but less flexible)
Partial agreements: Mediate what you can, litigate what you cannot
Early neutral evaluation: Neutral expert predicts court outcome to encourage settlement

Not sure which divorce type fits your situation? Splitifi analyzes your specific circumstances and recommends the best approach. Get personalized guidance on the process that matches your goals, timeline, and budget.

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Divorce Types

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Litigation

Collaborative Divorce

Decision Framework

About David Park, Esq.

Family Law Attorney, 20+ Years

David is a board-certified family law attorney with over two decades of experience in divorce litigation, mediation, and collaborative divorce. He has handled cases ranging from simple uncontested divorces to multi-million dollar asset divisions.

The Five Types of Divorce

DIY (Pro Se) Divorce

Uncontested Divorce

Mediation

Collaborative Divorce

Litigation

Decision Framework: Which Type Is Right For You?

Hybrid Approaches